


His Favorite Christmas Story

by arwenadreamer



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Song, Homophobia, Love at First Sight, M/M, Soulmates, capital lights, homobhobic america in the early 20th century, supernatural Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arwenadreamer/pseuds/arwenadreamer
Summary: Jensen meets a boy on Christmas Eve. But being gay in America in 1937 is not easy.This fic is based on the song His Favorite Christmas Story by Capital Lights.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	His Favorite Christmas Story

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on the song His Favorite Christmas Story, by Capital lights. A song that always makes me cry. Well, so did this story.
> 
> Merry Christmas, everyone!

His Favourite Christmas Story

**He met her up in Delaware in 1937,**

**She was wearing red lipstick to match her pretty dress.**

**December 24th at a quarter till eleven**

**Is when he finally gained the courage to ask her to dance**

**It was the night before Christmas, it was love at first sight.**

**The carolers sang, as they danced through the night**

**She was a small town girl, he was a traveling guy.**

**He never caught her name before they said their goodbyes.**

**His Fabourite Christmas Story by Capital Lights**

1937

Jensen was young when he started in his dad’s business. People gossiped that he got preferential treatment because he was the bosses’ son. And if Jensen was being honest, he had to agree. But he didn’t mind. Not at all. He had started out working in the warehouse, of course. But soon he’d found himself in the office. His Dad made sure Jensen learned everything he could about the adding machines they were selling. And also about sales strategies, how to talk potential customers into buying their product and presenting it to companies.

Jensen was good in selling Ackles Adding Machines, if he dared say so himself. He just added a little charm here, a rough manly joke there, and everybody was scrabbling for AAM’s. 

Which is why he found himself on the road now, traveling all across the country, to reel in big contracts with companies and warehouse chains. At age 23 he was by far the youngest salesman the company had. But also the most successful one. 

Jensen enjoyed the traveling. Mostly. He got to see a lot of the country. And he got to leave Texas behind. Not that he didn’t love his home state, but ever since he had realised that he wasn’t interested in girls, like he was supposed to, the rough Texan culture and prevalent Christian morals felt … stifling. To say the least. 

It had taken Jensen a long time to admit to himself that he was drawn to boys. He was raised in the believe that gay men were an abomination, that being gay was bad, evil even. But no matter how hard he tried to be interested in girls, he just wasn’t. He had had several hook-ups, sure. In the end, though, he was grateful that he always could cite said Christian morals to prevent anything more than kissing. He secretly longed to hold a boy in his arms, feel his rough stubble on his lips, his bulge rubbing against his own. And no matter how many girls he dated, that didn’t change. At least his image as a proud Texan boy was intact, though. Nobody suspected a thing. If anything he was known as a lady’s man. 

So yes, Jensen enjoyed traveling a lot. Not that it was easy to be gay anywhere in the world. But at least he felt like he could breathe, out of Texas. He didn’t feel the need to constantly act like someone he was not. He just didn’t hook up at all, and no-one was the wiser. 

Once he had even flirted with a man at a bar! At least Jensen was pretty sure, that the guy had flirted with him. Neither of them had dared to act on it, though.

What Jensen didn’t like about traveling, was spending the holidays in a motel room. At Thanksgiving he had really missed his family.

That’s why he was grateful that he was invited to a Christmas party by the company owner he had just signed a very lucrative contract with. He wouldn’t have to sit in his hotel alone on Christmas Eve. There were hundreds of guests, and he knew no-one, but at least he didn’t feel alone. And the punch was good.

He was making his way over to the buffet, when something red caught his eye. A bright red tie. It stood out between all the brown and grey suits. Jensen stopped in his track and followed the tie up. And up. To a face that literally took his breath away. Hazel eyes, brown shaggy hair, a sharp prominent chin covered in stubble, a somehow cute pointy nose. The most beautiful man Jensen had ever seen. And he was TALL. 

It took Jensen a moment to realize that Tall And Handsome was staring right back. He felt his cheeks flush and abruptly turned away to finish his way to the buffet. From there he threw a surreptitious glance over to the guy, only to find that he was also glancing over.

Could it be? Could this gorgeous man actually be interested in him?

Jensen didn’t dare to hope. And besides, even if, he couldn’t really act on it, could he? 

He filled his punch glass and strolled over to the wall opposite the guy. He leaned casually against it and seemingly watched the couples on the dance floor. But really, he had only eyes for the dimples that showed whenever Shaggy Hair smiled, and his heart did a little somersault, whenever those beautiful eyes found their way to his. 

At one point, the tall guy disappeared for a few minutes, but he came back with a fresh glass of alcohol and found himself a place where Jensen could watch him unobstructed. The further the night went, the surer Jensen grew that he wasn’t imagining it. That the attraction he felt was mutual. He pondered that thought, even as a pretty blonde girl came over and started to flirt with him. Tall And Handsome actually seemed to be a bit disappointed about that, if the sudden lack of dimples was any indication. So Jensen quickly said something about how he wished to spend Christmas with his girlfriend at home, and the girl disappeared. All under the watchful eyes of the stranger across the room.

Jensen didn’t know what to do with his feelings. This was a room full of people, and if anyone found out he was gay, it would be a scandal. They would probably lose the contract with Bloomingdales. But all he could think of was holding this man in his arms and dancing with him.

_Screw it_ , he thought. He looked the stranger in the eye and gave a slight indication to the back door with his head. The answering nod was almost imperceptible. 

With more self-confidence than he felt, Jensen made his way to the exit. A glance to his watch revealed that it was quarter to eleven.

The night air felt cold on his skin and it was snowing lightly, but Jensen made his way down the steps to the white powdered lawn surrounding the building. He walked a few steps to the right, up to the corner of the house. Jensen didn’t have to wait long before the door opened again. Handsome came out, his eyes briefly scanning the area, before they settled on Jensen. He couldn’t help the tentative smile that spread on his lips and was delighted when he saw it mirrored on the man’s face.

With another slight nod Jensen stepped around the corner, where they would be out of sight. He was standing right underneath a window, but the snow was building a white film on the glass and he was sure nobody could spot them in the dark outside. The music got through, though, and that gave Jensen an idea.

Later, Jensen couldn’t recall how he found the courage, but as soon as the handsome stranger rounded the corner, he held out his hand and said, “May I ask for this dance?”

“It would be my honour!” The man took his hand, put his other around Jensen`s shoulder, and together they moved to the music, as if they had never done anything else.

It was an indescribable feeling. He had never felt so happy, so at home in the arms of another person. With sudden clarity Jensen realised that this was more than just sexual attraction. This had to be what love at first sight felt like. Not that he ever had believed in that, but here he was, his heart beating frantically, yet in rhythm with the heart his hand lay over. He looked up into hazel eyes, and even though neither of them spoke, he felt connected like he never had before. And he knew, he just knew, that the man, who was so solid and warm in his hands, felt the same.

Careful, oh so slowly, Jensen went up on his tiptoes, and as soon as he did, his dance partner started to bend down. Their lips met, tentative at first. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Slowly, their kiss deepened, tongues carefully licking, exploring. Jensen had always thought it must feel amazing to kiss, when you had feelings for the person you kissed. But he was not prepared for the fireworks of both physical and emotional sensations that exploded within him. And, judging by the happy moan that left his partners lips, and the tight embrace he felt himself held in, the feeling was mutual. 

Jensen was still lost in this feeling, when they heard the door around the corner being opened and shut again. They hastily stepped apart.

“Are you sure?” a male voice could be heard, and the guy’s eyes widened in fear.

“Yes, I saw him come out here,” a woman answered.

Jensen understood the pleading look and stepped back into the shadows. The red tie was the last thing Jensen saw flash in the soft glow of the window, before the guy turned towards the corner of the house they had come from.

A moment later an elder couple appeared, the woman with a worried face, the man rather angry looking. Neither of them spotted Jensen.

“There you are!” the man almost shouted. “What the hell are you doing out here, boy? Get in the car, we are leaving!”

“Yes, dad. I’m sorry, I just needed some fresh air,” his dance partner replied with a soft voice. 

Under the watchful eyes of his parents he couldn’t even turn around for a last look, before he disappeared around the corner.

Jensen just stood there, dumbfounded. _I didn’t even get his name_ , he thought, while his heart still beat way to fast in his chest. 

The commotion of his feelings made it hard to calm down. But when he finally was sure, that nobody could tell what he had been doing, just by looking at him, he went back inside. 

He tried to find the people the handsome guy had been talking to. He would ask them for his name. But they were nowhere to be found. So instead he started asking random people who that Sasquatch was, that had been here earlier. Nobody knew. Jensen grew more desperate by the minute, and people started getting suspicions. 

“Why are you asking about a random stranger?” they wanted to know. And Jensen didn’t have a good answer for that.

Then people started to go home and there was simply no one left that Jensen could ask. So he went back to the motel, too.

He would have tried to make more inquiries on the next day, but it was Christmas, everybody was at home, and where should he even start to find a stranger he could only describe by looks?

On Boxing Day Jensen had to leave to make it to his appointment a few states over on the 27th. And from there his travel plans only brought him further away. 

Jensen loved his job. He loved traveling. But ever since Christmas Eve, he felt like he left his heart with the boy with no name.

  
  


**A couple years later he was out on the road,**

**Having Christmas dinner in a diner alone,**

**When he saw a young waitress with a gleam in her eye,**

**Her favorite day of the year she showed her spirits were high.**

**She said, Sir can you shed a little holiday cheer?**

**A simple Christmas story was all she wanted to hear.**

**He looked prepared with a smile as he started to say**

**Here's my favorite Christmas story about a girl with no name.**

**He said I met her up in Delaware in 1937,**

**She was wearing red lipstick to match her pretty dress.**

**December 24th at a quarter till eleven is when I finally gained the courage to ask her to dance**

1941

Jensen was driving through the winter night, the snow taking his sight and piling up on the roads. Under these weather conditions he would never make it all the way to Minneapolis tonight. With a sigh he decided to pull over at the next motel.

Another Christmas spend all alone. He was getting used to it.

With a sting Jensen thought about that one Christmas Eve four years ago. He thought about a red tie and hazel eyes. About a dimpled smile that he would never forget. 

He had come back to Georgetown whenever his business had brought him near. He had asked around. Had wandered the streets in the hopes to find the man who stole his heart. The man with no name.

At Christmas, it hurt even more than during the year. Today, they could have had their four year anniversary, had he only had the presence to ask for a name.

_Don’t be stupid! How could two men ever be together?_ a nasty voice in his head supplied. Yeah, ok, maybe he was daydreaming a fantastical world. Sue him.

After checking in into the next best motel, he went to `Becky`s Burgers` across the street. Apart from a very happy looking young couple, the diner was empty. Jensen chose a booth as far away from them, as possible. He couldn’t help but look at them, flirting, smiling, kissing each other. With a sad smile, he picked up the menu and decided that a cheeseburger would have to do as Christmas Eve dinner.

Seconds later the door to the kitchen opened, and a young waitress came dancing through. Yes, actually dancing. She was singing along to the Christmas tune that was playing and beamed at him.

“Be right there,” she called, while serving the young couple two plates of actually delicious looking burgers.

When she came over, Jensen`s mood lifted, as he simply found her smile contagious. He ordered and felt a bit better, watching her prepare his drink. 

But even though his burger tasted great and sprits in the diner were flying high, he couldn’t help but think of his Christmas dance partner from four years ago. 

He was so caught up in his memories, that he was actually a bit startled by the waitress - her nametag read Wendy - putting a pie in front of him.

“On the house. Because it’s christmas,” she beamed.

It took Jensen less effort than he would have thought to smile back.

Wendy, instead of turning back to the counter, took a seat opposite him.

“So, what’s your story?” she asked.

“My story?”

“Yes, you’re here, all alone in a diner on Christmas Eve. You’re not from around here. I’d say from Texas, judging by your accent. So what are you doing here, so far from home?”

“Oh, my story is boring, really. I’m on a business trip.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I’m a salesman, I’m selling adding machines,” Jensen felt the need to explain. “See? Boring.”

“Well then,” Wendy’s smile didn’t falter, “if you don’t want to talk about the job, tell me a Christmas story!”

“A Christmas story?” Jensen said, a little amused now.

“Yes. It’s Christmas Eve. There’s nothing else to do. The two love doves over there won’t need my services in the foreseeable future, they are too busy enjoying each other’s lips. So let’s shed a little holiday cheer!”

Jensen smiled. 

“Ok. A Christmas story. So here goes. It was 1937, up in Delaware. I was invited to a Christmas party by a business partner. I wasn’t exactly in the highest spirits. You know, Christmas should be spend with the people you love, not alone on the road. But then -” Jensen hesitated for a moment, before he continued, “then SHE entered. She, uh…, she was wearing red lipstick to match her pretty dress. Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Wendy was glued to his lips and nodded enthusiastically. 

“I didn’t. Not before that night. But when I saw … her, I knew my heart belonged to … this person and would never belong to anyone else.”

“Unfortunately I am a coward when it really counts. We had eye contact for pretty much the whole evening, but it wasn`t until quarter till eleven, when I finally gained the courage to ask …”

_Screw it,_ he thought, and took the dive.

“HIM to dance.”

Wendy’s eyes widened for a second. Then she beamed at him.

“I take it he wasn’t really wearing a dress?” she said with an eye crinkle.

“No,” Jensen laughed, letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. “He was wearing a red tie.”

“So what happened? Is he waiting for you at home?” Wendy wanted to know.

Jensen’s smile faltered. 

“No. I was stupid. That’s what happened. I didn’t even ask for his name, before he had to leave. I have tried to find him, I looked everywhere. But how do you find a man with no name?”

The couple across the diner chose that moment to ask for Wendy. She signalled them to wait a minute and reached across the table.

Putting her hand on his, she looked him deep in the eye, before she said, “One day you will meet him again. I’m sure of that. Probably when you least expect it. But you two will meet again. Because if it was love at first sight, then that means you two were made for each other.”

She squeezed his hand and left the table with a smile. Jensen sat there, contemplating her words. He hoped she was right, he truly did. But in any case, he felt good. Light, almost. Because it had been the first time he had ever told anyone that he was gay. And Wendy hadn’t looked at him any different.

**Every holiday season as he traveled he'd tell**

**About his Christmas dance partner that he never knew well.**

**He'd share his favorite story with the locals he met.**

**He was called the Christmas story tellin' traveling man.**

**By age 53 he had done settled down.**

**All the neighborhood kids liked to gather around,**

**Just to listen to his stories about his life on the road.**

**All he had now were these children he told.**

**And every Christmas eve they showed up before dark.**

**He'd tell them all the story but they knew it by heart.**

**They could quote it word for word, he always told it the same.**

**It was his favorite Christmas story called the girl with no name.**

**He said I met her up in Delaware in 1937,**

**She was wearing red lipstick to match her pretty dress.**

**December 24th at a quarter till eleven is when I finally gained the courage to ask her to dance.**

1967

Jensen put his copy of Sexual Inversion: The Multiple Roots Of Homosexuality down with a sigh. He certainly couldn’t agree with everything that was written in the book, but one of the multiple authors, Judd Marmors, was arguing that society’s attitude towards homosexuals was culturally determined. And boy, did he have a point there.

Jensen thought back to his time in Texas. After travelling for a few more years, he had come back to take over a leading position in the Ackles Adding Machines corporation. And for a while everything had been well. But Jensen, being in Texas, hadn’t even dared to have the occasional flirt or hook-up. And to make matters worse, his mother had been pressuring him more and more about finding a wife. 

Finally, one day, Jensen had made the decision to tell his parents. 

It hadn’t gone over well. His mother had been crying for days, his father had hardly spoken a word with him. But he hadn’t kicked him out of the company, either. And when Jensen had come to him with his new business plan, he had gladly accepted. It had been the best solution for all of them, really.

Now Jensen was leading the New York branch of their ever growing family business. It had been easy to convince his dad to expand to New York, where overseas shipment was easy. Mechanical adding machines had become obsolete, but AAM had successfully switched to electronical calculators. And since Ackles Calculators didn’t sound quite as good as Ackles Adding Machines, they had changed their name to Texas calculators. 

Jensen had successfully built up the New York branch and they were even selling Texas calculators to England and Germany now.

As for his private life: he still lived alone. But that had more to do with not being able to forget the boy with no name, than anything else. Life for a homosexual in New York was a whole lot easier than in Texas. Sure, he still couldn’t be openly gay. He wondered if that would ever be the case. But times were changing. Slowly. There were new books published, for one. Books that argued against the common believe that homosexuality was a mental illness and needed to be treated as such.

And there were places in New York that Jensen could go to. Bars, clubs, where he would find friends, the occasional hook-up. He even had had a partner for a while. But Chris left him after a year, because, as he put it, Jensen _wasn’t really into the relationship_. And Jensen couldn’t blame him. Chris was right. Jensen’s heart belonged to his Christmas dance partner from oh so many years ago.

Jensen’s doorbell rang, and with a smile he got up to answer it. It had become a tradition by now. Every year on Christmas Eve a few boys from the YMCA came over to listen to his favourite Christmas story.

Jensen had been active in several homosexual rights movements ever since coming to New York. He even had been to Kirsteins Salon a few times, and he made sure to donate money wherever he could. But he also liked to work with adolescents, who struggled to understand their sexuality. It was an open secret that the YMCA was a spot where they could meet.

With a “Merry Christmas Jensen,” his guests stormed his house, heading straight for the living room where they occupied his couch and the floor, leaving the armchair for him.

Jensen put a few cookies on the living room table before taking his seat. How many times had he told his story now, he wondered.

Back on the road, he had always been very careful. Only ever told it to strangers who he would never meet again. Some people had reacted well to it, others had very politely but suddenly excused themselves, as if being gay was contagious. And one time he had only very nearly avoided a blue eye or worse.

But now, here in his home, with several pairs of eyes looking up adoringly to him, he leaned back with a smile and began:

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Yeees!” came a chorus of cheerful answers.

“Well, then, let me tell you a story about my love at first sight. It was 1937, up in Delaware. I was invited to a Christmas party by a business partner. I wasn’t exactly in the highest spirits. You know, Christmas should be spend with the people you love, not alone on the road. But then HE entered the room. He was wearing a red tie that stood out between all the brown and grey suits. His smile was dimpled, his eyes hazel under shaggy hair. I knew right away that my heart belonged to him. Unfortunately I was a coward. I feared how he might react. Being gay was even more difficult back then, than it is today. Even though we had eye contact for pretty much the whole evening, and he was clearly as much interested in me as I was in him, it wasn`t until a quarter till eleven, when I finally gained the courage to ask him to dance.”

“Aww!”

“Yes, it was magical. We had snuck outside. The music was softly playing through the window. Snow was falling. It was like only he and I existed in the world.”

“But then his parents came for him. I had to hide. He had to leave. And I hadn’t even asked for his name. It is my biggest regret to this day.”

“Jensen?” one of the boys piped up in the following silence.

“Yes, Lucas?”

“You ask us every year if we believe in love at first sight. But do YOU believe in SOULMATES?”

  
  


**Twenty years later as he took his last breaths,**

**On a cold Christmas morning in a hospital bed,**

**The children had grown, he had nobody left,**

**Except the little old nurse who was holding his hand.**

**He said, Ma'am can you share a little holiday cheer?**

**A simple Christmas story was all he wanted to hear.**

**But his eyes filled with tears at the words that she spoke,**

**Because his favorite Christmas story was the one that she told.**

**She said I met him up in Delaware in 1937,**

**Though I never caught his name he was a traveling man.**

**December 24th at a quarter till eleven**

**I'm so glad he got the courage to ask me to dance.**

1987

When Jensen had been diagnosed with cancer, it had been a shock at first. But now he was oddly at peace with it. 

His dad had died nineteen years ago, and he had left Jensen a letter where he apologized for how he had treated Jensen. He said his biggest regret was to not being more accepting of his son. After that Jensen had talked to his mom. His first open and honest conversation with her since he had come out. She had asked about his boyfriends, wanted to know about the side of his life she had always tried to ignore.

And Jensen had told her about his Christmas dance partner. Had told her how he still dreamed about the boy with no name.

She had smiled at him and said: “Trust your instincts, son. If you were truly meant to be, you will meet again in heaven. Just like I will meet your father again when it’s time for me.”

She was re-united with his father four years later.

Now Jensen himself was lying in a hospital bed and he could feel that it was time soon. Breathing had become difficult. He wondered if he truly would meet his Christmas dance partner in heaven. If they would be able to continue their dance. If he would finally get the chance to ask for his name.

It was quiet in the hospital today. The guy in the bed next to him had been released this morning, in time for Christmas. Most of the staff was heading home now, most doctors where long gone, only the poor bastard who was on emergency service was still here.

The door to his room opened, and a male nurse entered, a tiny plastic tree with a few colourful baubles in his hand.

“Here, I thought you could use a little holiday cheer,” he said, placing the tree on Jensen’s bedside table. 

Jensen couldn’t say why, but his heart sang at the sight. He had never seen this nurse before. He was old, and Jensen wondered why he was not yet retired. But he was glad for the company.

“Merry Christmas!” the nurse said with a heart-warming smile, which Jensen answered as best as he could with the nasal cannula being stuck in his nose.

After a moment’s hesitation, instead of leaving the room, the man pulled a chair over to Jensen’s hospital bed and took a seat. 

He leaned forward and took Jensen’s hand.

“I’m sorry that you’re stuck in hospital on Christmas”, he said. 

_Not much different than being stuck on the road_ , Jensen thought. 

It was Christmas Eve, and there was a stranger sitting in front of him. Normally he would tell his favourite Christmas story now, like he had every year since 1937. But he was so short on breath, he knew he wouldn’t be able to get the words out.

So instead, he looked at the nurse - who had the most beautiful eyes - and rasped, “Could you share a little holiday cheer?”

The man, still holding his hand, smiled, and with a little squeeze began:

“It was 1937 up in Delaware. My parents insisted on bringing me to this Christmas party. I didn’t even want to go. It was bound to be boring. But then I saw him. I never caught his name, he was a traveling man. I was too much of a coward to go over to him. My parents … Anyway. He asked me to come outside with him. We hid around the corner. It was quarter till eleven. I’m so glad he got the courage to ask me to dance!”

Jensen’s eyes filled with tears. 

“You were wearing a red tie,” he breathed. 

The nurse’s eyes widened. They looked at each other, smiles blooming on both their faces. Jensen couldn’t believe it. He had found his Christmas dance partner. After all these years he had really found him.

The man leaned forward and caressed his face, then put his lips down on Jensen’s, soft and loving.

They stayed like this for a long, precious moment. Jensen felt at home. At peace.

When his soulmate leaned up again, Jensen was breathless from the kiss. But he gathered enough oxygen to finally, finally ask:

“What’s your name?”

“Jared.”

Epiloque:

Jensen didn`t wait for Jared on a bridge. No, he waited for him around a house corner. In the soft light of a window. Snow was falling, but it didn`t feel cold in heaven. Just gave everything a magical atmosphere. When Jared arrived, he held out his hand invitingly, and Jared took it. They would have all eternity now, to dance through the night.

**Author's Note:**

> My first calculator really had the brand name Texas. :)
> 
> Merry Christmas


End file.
